How am I supposed to feel? – War & Humanity

With the world climate that is going on for now a few years, it is close to home now. After pushing my feelings under the rug for the issues and conditions which technically doesn’t impact me – finally, I have to pick a feeling, because now as a citizen, I must.

I don’t know if everyone has the same dilemmas, but I am going to articulate mine. So, I am supposed to feel this rush of patriotism volcanoing through me – as it does, this sudden rush of rage when my compatriots are killed in their free country, or rush of win when my army strikes and kills those who are responsible for the earlier occurrence. In the next moment of that rush, I feel the tinge of intellectualism, or maybe from artistic or basic human sensitivity, that I shouldn’t be feeling good about wars and killings. Which I stand by, with the way world is connected today, or maybe by looking at history, I definitely don’t like wars or violence on each other.

Image by Deep Chatufale

In larger picture, it sounds stupid out of the context to me. We are killing humans to avenge killed humans – I also immediately feel after typing that I am typing stupid shit. My conscience immediately starts throwing series of “But…”s which probably yours would too. And I know and also agree to , you protect what is yours, you protect and defend your freedom which has come after lot of blood and sacrifices. And as much as I don’t like the systems , I must oblige to it- accepting of the fact that simply thinking that isn’t going to bring the change in 7 billion people and numerous powers of the world, who will continue to do what they do – not caring about my little poetry on death and beauty.

Of course, there is this lens of politics and individual opinions – we know politics and how it works, and it necessarily needs to work that way I guess, because none of us have better solution for that rather than eventual ranting. Which makes me come to the second point, individual opinions. We have them, we all should voice them out – but are they our own? Many of the times, I look at some individual having “unique” take on a certain action, mostly coming out of the need to stand out, and I am very aware of my own action being an example. To pursue this unique take, one develops a lens, which allows and prepares you to look for the details which the popular media (they did give the news first last night, even erratic) ignores or misses. Everyone aspires to be smarter, and they are – but the battle of proving it. Most of these comments are coming from, including my own, from a deep sense of knowing something is wrong in this whole scenario – comparing it with our immense knowledge of things, perceived “knowing better” attitude, and our sense of empathy and humanity in general.

The algorithm is bitch, it will only show you stuff strengthening your own opinion which becomes a belief now, and individual opinion becomes popular if it is re-shared in stories by people who are in the same race of proving.

Image by Deep Chatufale

All of this introduces interesting options that one average, let’s say millennial ( One generation above is very clear about their interests simply, one generation lower might not be as invested emotionally in belief game) , has options – fit in, give in to the feelings of patriotism, pick up religion based hatred ( you don’t have to, actually, if you think about it!) , or, join the race of sounding intellectual with “neutral” objective analysis of events (which I envy, because it seems really really impossible) or, act like a monk, and let the history pass you by as it occurs by simply criticizing everything or distancing yourself from entire thing.

Because the minute you’re involved, you have responsibility – the minute you break the silence, you have a voice – and you must own it. And then the bizarre reality we live in, God forbid I change my mind. Or have opinions which are unclear to everyone or beliefs which are not radical.

As an artist, I have habit of seeing the current events from the perspective of history, of course winner writes the history n all – but our shared experiences are always going to be our own, and if we can’t articulate them without being radicalized on to one extreme, history will not tell the correct stories. I think changing our mind is the freedom we all owe each other!